Ask Yugi
by LOL-im-so-funny
Summary: Ppl write in letters to the yugioh cast. See what they write back! The long awaited "Ask Malik" chapter is FINALLY up! Plz R&R!^_______^
1. Ask Yugi

Ask Yugi

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, but I wish I did. Or any thing else except for my ideas. If you see anything that looks like it's from your story. I didn't copy it, it's original. WE JUST THINK THE SAME WAY! This is my first fic so please DON'T flame me!

Bakura:How come its called ask Yugi?¡¨

LOL:Because he's the main character. You'll get to answer some letters in later chapters.You're sooooooo cute! glomps ^_________________^

Bakura:Yay! ^______________^

LOL:Now on with the fic! I hope u like it!

¡K¡K= actions

(¡K¡K)= author's notes

*****************************************************

Dear Yugi, 

I have a problem with my Ex. What should I do? Should I marry him or hate him?

Whacked Widow

Dear lady,

How the hell should I know! I¡¦m 15!

Yugi, 15 year old boy

Dear Yugi, 

Is you hair always like that or did get it done somewhere? I love it!

Spacy Flirt

Dear Weird Girl,

I was born with this hair. You can¡¦t get this masterpiece from ANY hair studio! *pats his hair*

Yugi, the boy with great hair

Dear Yugi, 

Are you free Saturday? If you are meet me behind the Game Shop at 6 pm.

Puppy Dawg

Dear Joey,

I know that¡¦s you Joey. For the 68th time, I¡¦m not gay!

Yugi, a straight guy, heterosexual, not homosexual. Kapish? (Sorry if u like joey, but I really think he¡¦s gay.^_^!)

Dear Yugi, 

Have you ever thought of selling that beautiful hunk of gold you have hangin¡¦ around your neck?

Gold Lover 

Dear Gold Member,

Aren¡¦t you that guy in Austin Powers? And NO! My puzzle is not for sale! Geez! You¡¦re as bad as Yami Bakura. {I do not own Austin Powers. Sorry to Y. Bakura lovers out there}

Yugi

Dear Yugi, 

I just can¡¦t wait to be King!

Simba

Dear Simba, 

You are King! You married Nala and had a daughter named Kiara! Now you even have a son-in-law, Kovu! DUH! I should know, I love the Lion King. {Don¡¦t own Lion King}

Yugi, Stating the obvious

Dear Yugi, 

How can you be so slim?

Garfield

Dear Garfield,

My secret, 2 cans of Slim Fast a day! Lose 10 pounds in just ONE week. {Don¡¦t own Garfield OR Slim Fast.}

Yugi, Slim Fast Sponsor

Dear Yugi, 

Get away from Anzu! She¡¦s too good for you! Mwuhahaha!

AnzuCrazy

Dear Honda,

I get the point! This is the WHAT?! 169th letter! You¡¦ve sent me!

Yugi

Dear Yugi-Boy,

I just remembered the one thing I forgot to put in on Duelist Kingdom! Porta- Potties!

Maxxy

Dear Pegasus,

Gee, ya think?!

Yugi, irritated boy who can¡¦t hold for very long

Dear Yugi,

You can¡¦t hide your puzzle from me forever!

Evil Psycho Maniac

Dear Yami Bakura,

o.0

Yugi, O.O

Dear Cutie, 

You¡¦re SOOOOOOOO cute!

Cutie Crazy

Dear Cutie Crazy,

I know I am. Thanks for telling me.

Yugi, really cute guy

¡@

LOL:So did u like it?

Joey:I¡¦m NOT gay!

LOL:Ofcourse u are! You like Yugi. Remember?

Joey:Oh yeah. Thanks for reminding me. walks off

Yami:Will I get a chance to answer some letters?

LOL:Of course u will! Your sooo hot! glomps

Yami:Ack!o.0

LOL:The next chapter will be yours, all yours. Happy?

Yami:^________________^

LOL:I hope u liked this 1st chapter. There¡¦ll be a lot more coming up very soon! I¡¦ve already written about 5 chapters and will be putting them up. Plz r&r!


	2. Ask Yami

Ask Yami  
  
Disclaimers: As always, I don't yugioh, but I really wish I did. "sigh" Everything I write is MY idea.  
  
Author's Notes: I would like to thank Seto Kaiba Fanatic for one of the ideas. Please R&R!  
  
Bakura:When is it going to be my turn?  
  
LOL:Soon enough. Just keep waiting.  
  
Yami:Yay! It's my turn! ^___________^  
  
LOL: "whispers to self- Your turn for torture! ""laughs crazily""  
  
Yami:What? Did you just say something?  
  
LOL:No! Of course I didn't. You didn't hear anything.  
  
Yami: "shrugs" Okay.  
  
LOL:Now, on with the fic! Enjoy!  
  
*****************************  
  
Dear Yami,  
  
How does it feel like to be a 5000yr old pharaoh stuck in a 14yr old body?  
  
Curious  
  
Dear Curious,  
  
Eh. Can't complain. At least I can still date.  
  
Yami, cool pharaoh  
  
  
  
Dear older and hotter looking Yugi,  
  
You're sooooo hot!  
  
IluvYami  
  
Dear IluvYami,  
  
I know. At least I know I haven't lost my touch. "flashes awesome smile, some girls faint" (Hey! Where'd you girls come from!? You aren't supposed to be in this fic!)  
  
Yami, hot guy  
  
  
  
Dear Yami,  
  
You HAVE to be anorexic to look THAT good!  
  
Anorexic  
  
Dear fellow anorexic,  
  
It's true. I've had this obession about not eating since I was locked inside the puzzle. That's why I don't eat anymore. "someone whispers somthing in his ear" Oh yeah! I can't eat! It's impossible! "laughs nervously"  
  
Yami, NOT anorexic  
  
  
  
Dear Lord Voldemort,  
  
I'm still waiting for your word to kill Yami.  
  
Faithfull Death Eater (Don't own Harry Potter, but I do wish I owned Ron ^_____^)  
  
Dear stupid imbecile,  
  
Wrong person! Ha! Now I know your plans! "laughs evilly" I'll get you Voldie!  
  
Yami, extremely POWERFUL sorcerer  
  
  
  
Dear Yami,  
  
Join forces with me, Yami! We could rule the world together!  
  
Y.Bakura  
  
Dear Y.Bakura,  
  
What are you, gay? And I will never desert my aibou,Yugi. Find someone else for your evil plans. I hear Seto's a pretty good partner in crime.  
  
Yami  
  
  
  
Dear Hot Abs,  
  
You have the greatest abs ever! I saw you in the "Top Ten Hottest Guys In Anime"! What's your secret?  
  
Iluvhotabs  
  
Dear abs luver,  
  
About a hundred sit-ups a day! You have to work hard for six-packs as beautiful as these!  
  
Yami, guy with hot abs  
  
  
  
Dear Yami,  
  
I'm a bisexual torn between a guy and a girl. Who should I choose?  
  
Bisexual guy  
  
Dear Bi-guy,  
  
Take the girl, you idiot! Are you stupid! How can you like guys! Stay away from me you bi!  
  
Yami, guy who likes girls  
  
  
  
Dear hot guy,  
  
Are you a lonely hunk looking for a cute girl? If you are, look no more! Cause here I am!  
  
Cute girl  
  
Dear cute girl,  
  
Send a pic and I'll think about it. "winks"  
  
Yami  
  
  
  
Dear Yami,  
  
Be free on Saturday and I'll meet you outside the game sop. "winks"  
  
Anzu  
  
Dear Anzu,  
  
Ack! How many times do I have to tell you! I'm not interested in you! Go ask Seto. I'm sure he'll go out with you. "mutters to self-He's desperate enough"  
  
Yami  
  
  
  
Dear Yami,  
  
How do I get a certain girl to like me if I think she thinks of me as a rich, spoiled, heartless guy?  
  
S.K  
  
Dear Kaiba,  
  
Just ask her out. I'm sue Anzu will say yes.  
  
Yami, matchmaker  
  
*******************  
  
LOL:So did u like this chap?  
  
Kaiba:I do not like Anzu!  
  
LOL:U DO IF I SAY U DO!  
  
Kaiba: "whimpers" Okay.  
  
LOL:Next chapter will be yours.^_______^ Be happy.  
  
Kaiba: "whimpers" Okay. "struggles to smile"  
  
LOL:Plz R&R! 


	3. Ask Seto

Ask Seto  
  
Disclaimers: I don't own Yugioh, but I really wish I did. Doesn't everybody? ^____^ All these letters are my ideas. I didn't copy any of them from anyone.  
  
Author's Note's: Thanks for everyone who gave me reviews! This chapter was a request from Seto-luver. Hope u like it. Thanks for everybody who gave me reviews. If you had a question for Yugi, Yami, or Seto that I didn't answer in these chapters. I will answer them in a future chapter that's mixed. That means that it's not fixed on 1 character.  
  
Bakura:When am I going to get my turn! "whiny voice"  
  
LOL:Stop being such a baby! If you weren't so cute and adorable, I would've  
  
beat you up a long time ago! You're sooooooo cute! ^_______^ glomps  
  
Bakura: Thank god I'm so cute.(  
  
LOL: Now on with the fic. This is one of my fave chaps. Plz R&R! Enjoy!  
  
**********************  
  
Dear Kaiba,  
  
Hey Kaiba!Hey Kaiba!Hey Kaiba!We're gonna get you!  
  
Pink Bunnies  
  
Dear Death Bunnies,  
  
Ah! Get away from me you fuzzy freaks! Ah!  
  
Kaiba, crouching in a corner, hiding  
  
  
  
Dear Seto,  
  
Hey you hottie! Try Pepsi! For those who think young.  
  
Britney Spears, Pepsi Sponsor (Do not own Pepsi. Sorry to those who like Britney. Do not own her either)  
  
Dear Britney,  
  
Ah! Britney Spears! Where'd you get my address? Ah! Don't come near me! Ah!  
  
Seto, hiding from Britney Spears  
  
  
  
Dear Seto,  
  
Uh, Yami told me to ask you out. So, um, do you wanna?  
  
Anzu, desperate  
  
Dear Anzu,  
  
Wow, you must be pretty desperate to ask ME out. But then again, so am I. Ofcourse I will. Yami really said that? He told me to ask YOU out. I think he's playing with us.  
  
Seto  
  
  
  
Dear Super Hottie,  
  
Could you come to my prom as my date? I've already asked Voldemort and Peter Pan. But they said that they have more important things to do. Ya, as if. Please say yes.(Do not own Harry Potter or Peter Pan)  
  
Velma(I think that's how you spell her name), girl in Scobby Doo gang(Do not own Scooby Doo)  
  
Dear Velma,  
  
Um, I have more important things to do. See, I'd really "cough cough" love to go but "cough cough" I can't.  
  
Kaiba, not available for proms  
  
  
  
Dear Kaiba Hottie,  
  
Will you please go out with me!? I'm your #1 fangirl! I love you!  
  
IluvKaiba  
  
Dear #1 fangirl,  
  
What is wrong with all you girls! I know I'm hot, but I'm not THAT hot! Stop chasing me!  
  
Kaiba, single and only available for Anzu  
  
  
  
Dear Seto Kaiba,  
  
Join forces with me! We can rule the world together! I heard you make a pretty good partner in crime. That dumb Yami turned down my offer.  
  
Y.Bakura  
  
Dear Y.Bakura,  
  
What are you, gay? Yami really turned down your offer? Wow. I'll think about it.  
  
Seto, still thinking  
  
  
  
Dear Kaiba,  
  
So did you ask Anzu out yet? I wanna hear ALL about it! "hee hee"  
  
Yami, matchmaker  
  
Dear Yami,  
  
Actually, she asked me out. Said something about you telling her to do it. Are you playing with us?  
  
Kaiba, very suspicious  
  
  
  
Dear Big Brother,  
  
How come you couldn't save me when we were in the Duelist Kingdom? I heard you were ready to die if Yami won the duel. How would you save me if you were dead? Did you think of that? And you got captured by Pegasus, too. Yugi ended up saving you and me. What do you have to say for yourself, Seto? What? Tell me!  
  
Mokuba, high on sugar  
  
Dear Little Brother,  
  
How did you know about that? You weren't supposed to find out about that! Guards! I told you to keep that from him! You're fired! Um, no comment, Mokuba. "laughs nervously"  
  
Kaiba, a GOOD big brother  
  
  
  
Dear Seto Kaiba,  
  
I love you, you love me, we're good friends as friends should be.  
  
With love, Barney(Do not own Barney)  
  
Dear Barney,  
  
I love you, too, Barney! I've waited 12 years for you to return my letter!^________^  
  
Seto, 15yr old who loves Barney  
  
  
  
Dear Mr. Kaiba,  
  
Please don't fire me! I didn't mean to let it slip! He threatened me! He bribed me! I'll do anything for you! ANYTHING!  
  
Very Faithfull Guard  
  
Dear Useless Guard,  
  
Okay, then. Get fired! Ahahahahaahahaha!  
  
Mr. Kaiba  
  
*****************  
  
LOL:So how did you like this chap?  
  
Seto:I do NOT love Barney!  
  
LOL:Yes you do.  
  
Seto:No, I don't  
  
LOL:I'm the writer here. You do if I say you do!  
  
Seto: "whimpers" Okay.  
  
LOL:Good. Now that everything's been cleared up..  
  
Anzu:I am NOT desperate! "cries"  
  
LOL: "sigh" Okay! You're NOT! Happy?  
  
Anzu: "nods head" ^_______________^  
  
LOL: Plz review! Next chapter will be for Bakura.  
  
Bakura: YAY!  
  
LOL:I'm gonna do a chapter for Anzu. If you have any questions for her, please feel free to tell me. I'll put them up and answer them. Hope u liked this chap! Bi for now! 


	4. Ask Bakura

Ask Bakura/Ryou  
  
Disclaimers:I don't own Yugioh,but I really wish I did.I mean,doesn't everybody?  
  
Author's Note:Thanks for everybody who gave me reviews. I'll be answering all your questions in special chapters called "Request Chapters".There, I'll be answering all your questions for the cast.  
  
  
  
Bakura:Yay!^___________________^It's finally my turn!^___________^  
  
Yami: "point's to Bakura"Yeesh.What's his problem?  
  
LOL:It's finally his turn to answer the letters.  
  
Yami:That's it?He gets all happy cuz it's his turn to do the letters? Oy,does he need a hobby.  
  
Bakura:You're such a meanie Yami! "sticks out tongue to Yami"  
  
Yami:O...K..0.0 That's it, I'm leaving "leaves"  
  
LOL:On with the fic! Enjoy! Plz R&R!  
  
Bakura:^______________________________^  
  
*******************  
  
Dear Ryou,  
  
I'm coming after you! You can't hide from me forever! Ahahahaha!  
  
Your Yami  
  
Dear Mr.Yami Bakura sir,  
  
Please don't hurt me! I'm too cute to go! Nooooo!!!!  
  
Ryou, very cute guy  
  
  
  
Dear Bakura,  
  
How come you've got white hair?Did you bleach it or something?  
  
Curious  
  
Dear Curious,  
  
No,I didn't bleach it.I used to have black hair.The Bogeman scared me when I was a little kid.I was so shocked that my hair turned white and it stayed that way.  
  
Bakura,not scared of the Bogeman anymore  
  
  
  
Dear Ryou Bakura,  
  
Give me $10 000 behind Kaiba Land if you ever want to see your hair dryer again! Ahahaha!  
  
Kidnapper  
  
Dear Mr.Meanie,  
  
Impossible! I keep it in a very safe place. "runs into the bathroom and the world hears Bakura's girly scream when he can't find his precious hair dryer" Okay,okay. What time? And it better be in perfect condition! (Geesh! Can't you just get another hair dryer?)  
  
Bakura,boy without his hair dryer  
  
  
  
Dear Ryou,  
  
Eh oh! Big Hug!  
  
Teletubies  
  
Dear Teletubies,  
  
Eh oh! I love you guys! I learned everything from you!  
  
Ryou,big Teletubie fan  
  
  
  
Dear Ryou Bakura,  
  
We were wondering if you'd like to join our group/band?One of our group/band member's left and we need someone with a british accent.Girl Power!  
  
Spice Girls  
  
Dear Spice Girls,  
  
Really?!For real?!All right!Will I get to dress up as a girl?Oh, please tell me I get to dress up as a girl!I'm gonna be Egyptian Spice!Millenium Power!  
  
Ryou Bakura,future Spice Girl  
  
  
  
Dear Bakura,  
  
You're sooooooo cute!I love you soooo much!Will you meet me in front of the Game Shop on Friday at 6pm?I'll be the one with big white hair!I copied your hairstyle!We'll look just twins!  
  
HyperRyouLover  
  
Dear HyperMeLover,  
  
I don't think so.I'm special and I want to keep it that way! Why don't you go copy tristan's hair?I hear he's looking for a stunt double look alike. "Mutters to self-Don't know why he would need one.He doesn't Do anything on the show."  
  
Bakura,very special  
  
  
  
Dear Bakura,  
  
How come you're so sweet all the time?Innocence like that is not possible!  
  
Skeptic  
  
Dear Skeptic,  
  
No, it is not! And I'm living proof of that! You're just jealous because I'm better than you are! Nya nya! "sticks tongue out"  
  
Bakura,sweet and innocent  
  
  
  
Dear Bakura,  
  
I kissed my mom's best friend's daughter's cousin's brother's teammate's sister's boyfriend. What should I do?  
  
Screwed  
  
Dear Screwed,  
  
Um..what?  
  
Bakura,confused  
  
  
  
Dear Ryou,  
  
I want to commit suicide. But I'm not sure if it's the right thing to do. My mom left when I was 4. My dad's a drunken male prostitute. I've got social workers tagging me everywhere I go. I live in an old broken down pencil case factory. And I have no friends. "sigh" I just wanna die.  
  
Suicidal  
  
Dear Suicidal,  
  
Of course you should commit suicide! With a life like that, who would want to keep on living? I know I wouldn't.  
  
Ryou,boy with a GREAT and VERY ENVOIUS life  
  
****************  
  
LOL:So did you like this chap?  
  
Bakura:I do not love the Teletubies! And I do not want to dress up as a girl!!!!!!!!!!  
  
LOL:That's what you want because you wrote the return letters.  
  
Bakura:You changed everything I wrote!  
  
LOL:That's the best thing about being the author of this fic! ^______^  
  
Bakura:O.0  
  
LOL:I'm thinking of hiring someone to do the disclaimers for me.  
  
Yami,Yugi, Joey, and Seto:Ooh ooh! I'll do it!  
  
LOL:Eeny meeny miny mo. Okay, Seto. The job's your.  
  
Seto:Yay! ^_______^ "sticks tongue out to Yami, Yugi, and Joey"  
  
Yami, Yugi, and Joey:@_@  
  
LOL:O..kay. Anyways,thanks to all those who reviewed! I made it so now the ppl who are not signed in can review! ^___^ I need more reviews! Oh, and for those who want to ask the yugioh cast something, feel free to send in the questions. If you want to ask Anzu anything, please send in your questions quick. I'm planning on doing the next chapter for her. SO PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!! 


	5. Ask Tea

Ask Tea/Anzu  
  
  
  
A/N: For this chapter, Seto Kaiba Fanatic helped me write it. There will also be questions here that some of you readers sent me through reviews. The answers to your questions were all my ideas. Thanks for all your reviews! Plz R&R! Enjoy!  
  
  
  
Seto:LOL im so funny does not own any of us and all these ideas are hers, except for the ones that she answered on request. But the answers are her ideas. Not the questions. Not the request questions. Does anybody else think I make no sense? Thought so. So now I'm just gonna shut up and let the others do the talking.  
  
Anzu:It's finally my turn to answer the letters! "sniff" I'm so happy! "cries like a baby"  
  
LOL:Jeez! If you wanna cry, don't cry in MY fic! Go cry somewhere else!  
  
Anzu: "while crying" you're soooo mean! "runs away crying even more"  
  
Yami: I wanna do the disclaimers! It's not fair that Seto gets to do it!  
  
LOL: Yes, it is. I did the "eeny meeny miny mo" and picked Seto.  
  
Bakura: Ah, the "eeny meeny miny mo" technique. Works every time.  
  
LOL: You're soooooo cute! glomps ^ ________^  
  
Terriermon: But I thought you thought I was cute!  
  
LOL: How'd you get in my fic?  
  
Terriermon: I dunno. "walks away"  
  
SKF: Boy, you sure have some weird people appear in your fics.  
  
LOL: You get used to them. I did.  
  
SKF: Whatever. Let's just get this fic on with!  
  
LOL: Yup! Well, Enjoy!  
  
Terriermon: Yay!  
  
SKF: That's it. You're starting to get on my nerves! "takes out giant mallot and starts chasing Terriermon around with it"  
  
Henry: Hey! What are you doing to my digimon! "takes out digivice and the blue card" Digimodify! Digivolution activate!  
  
Terriermon: Terriermon! Digivolve to! Gargomon! "Gargomon and Henry start chasing SKF around"  
  
LOL: STOP IT!  
  
Everyone: "cowers"  
  
Henry: I think I'll just leave now.  
  
Terriermon: That's the best idea you've come up with in a long time!  
  
Henry: Terriermon!  
  
Terriermon: Momenti!  
  
Henry:Argh!  
  
SKF: Could you guys just please leave!  
  
LOL: Ya! Go bother some other authoress in their fics!  
  
Henry and Terriermon: Good idea! Bye!  
  
LOL and SKF: O.O  
  
LOL: Now, on with the fic.  
  
SKF: Please review!  
  
(..) = A/N  
  
******************  
  
Dear Tea,  
  
How come you're such a crybaby?  
  
Cool Girl who isn't a crybaby  
  
Dear Mean Girl,  
  
I am not! How come "sob" people keep "sniff" saying that! "starts to cry and bawl like a baby"  
  
Tea, not a crybaby "sniff"  
  
  
  
Dear Tea,  
  
What's with that point in your hair? How come it sticks out like that?  
  
Flat Hair  
  
Dear Flat Hair,  
  
I dunno. I've been wondering the same thing myself. "mutters to self-Maybe it's that pencil I flung up there in Gr.2"  
  
Tea, pointy hair  
  
  
  
Dearest Anzu,  
  
Please be my girlfriend! I love you! I can love you better than those two slime balls, Seto and Yami! Better yet, will you marry? That way, we can be together all the time! Please say yes! I'll save up my money to get you an engagement ring! And maybe in 10 years or so, a wedding ring! Please say yes!  
  
Desperate lover  
  
Desperate guy,  
  
Who are you? Are you some sort of psychopath or something!? Of course I won't be your girlfriend! Let alone marry you! And Seto and Yami aren't slimeballs! How do you know them? How do you know me? Are you stalking me? "sniff sniff" Stay away from me you maniac! "cries and wakes up the whole neighborhood" (She was reading this at night)  
  
Anzu, "sniff sniff  
  
  
  
Dear Tea,  
  
Do you really like Seto? Or are you some kind of gold digger?  
  
#3890956 Seto fangirl  
  
Dear #3890956,  
  
Um, what makes you ask that? Of course I like Seto! I really like him for the rich, cold, heartless freak that he is. Did I say cold, heartless freak? I meant, um, nice, kind brother. "sweat drops nervously" Don't say any of this to him. This never happened. I never said anything! Ha! You're a #! "ahem"  
  
Tea, not a gold digger "looks around nervously"  
  
  
  
Dear Tea,  
  
You know about the chocolate I gave you last Christmas? I just found out they expired, like, 4 years ago. Hehe "lafs nervously" I hope you haven't ATE them yet. Hehe "sweats nervously" I'm really sorry.  
  
Tristan  
  
Dear jackass Tristan,  
  
What! Why didn't you tell me this sooner! I'm never going out with you ever again! I already ate all of them! How the hell was I supposed to know it was expired! You idiot! You ****ing bastard! I'm so gonna kick your sorry ****ing ass all the way to the next millenium! (Get it? Millenium Items? Next Millenium? 'chirp chirp' Ah, you're no fun.)Don't ever come near me again! "sniff sniff" I ate expired chocolate! "cries her eyes out"  
  
Tea, the one who will murder Tristan (a special thanks goes out to my very stupid little 11yr old sister who gave me this idea when she found out last night that she ate candy that expired 2 years ago! Thank you Frances!)  
  
  
  
Dear Tea,  
  
Do you want my best friend? You're so nice! I want you to be on my show!  
  
Barney (do not own Barney. Do not WANT to own Barney. Wants the big talking purple dinosaur to commit suicide because he found out that nobody watches his stupid show! :p)  
  
Dear Barney,  
  
"gasp" Oh my gosh! Barney wants me to be his best friend! I'd love to! I love you! And I'd love to be on your show!  
  
Tea,Barney's new best friend  
  
  
  
Dear Anzu,  
  
Hi! I was wondering if you'd like to be on my show? Our host, Steve, suddenly cracked during our 15 546 take of our next show and started strangling poor Magenta, saying that he was barking too much and constantly forgetting his lines. "shakes head" He only made the same mistake 15 543 times. "sigh" I'll never get humans. So could you be our new host?  
  
Blue from Blues Clues (do not own Blues Clues)  
  
Dear Blue,  
  
Oh! I'd love to! Except Barney already asked me to be on his show. I'm his new best friend! (I wonder what happened to his OLD best friends. Probably found out that he was a stupid big talking purple dinosaur who has no arms "shrugs") Gee, Steve used to be such a nice guy. I wonder why he cracked? Oh well. I hope Magenta gets better. Give her my love okay?  
  
Tea, Barney's new best friend  
  
  
  
(This is a request question. I hope Seto explained them to you. He said he was gonna.) Dear Tea,  
  
Why do you talk about friendship and make speeches and stuff? It is annoying you know. And I can't believe you're that desperate for a date. Geesh!  
  
Fani, annoyed  
  
Dear Fani,  
  
You think what I say is annoying? "sniff" But that stuff's, like, from my heart! "sob" And I'm not really that desperate. I just act that way. I'm in it for the money. OOPS! Forget what I just told you! Damn! This is the second time that that's happened!  
  
Tea  
  
  
  
(This is another request question) Dear Anzu,  
  
How do you keep your outfit looking good when you wear the same thing everyday?  
  
Curious fashion fanatic  
  
Dear CFF,  
  
My secret, buy lots of the same outfit!I got, like, 20 pairs of the same outfit as the one I wore to Duelist Kingdom.  
  
Anzu  
  
****************  
  
SKF: So did you like this chap?  
  
LOL: Hey! That's my line!  
  
SKF: :p  
  
LOL: Hmph!  
  
Anzu: You made me sound like such a crybaby!  
  
LOL: That's because you ARE a crybaby!  
  
Anzu: "sniff sniff" You're so hurtful! "runs away crying, again"  
  
Malik: Excuse me, LOL. I was just wondering if you were going to give ME a chapter.  
  
LOL: "gasp" Malik! Of course I will! What makes you think I won't? "shakes head" Nevermind. Don't answer that. "grabs Malik's arm" But before that, why don't you treat me to dinner? I'm STARVING!  
  
Malik: Uh, okay. "LOL and Malik leaves"  
  
SKF: What! This is YOUR fic! What am I going to do all alone!?  
  
Seto: I can keep you company.  
  
SKF: Of course Seto! Why don't you take me out for some dinner?  
  
Seto: Sure. "SKF and Seto leaves"  
  
Bakura: Great, the authoresses are gone. Well, I'm sure LOL wanted to say this before she took off with Malik.  
  
Yami: She did what! LOL! Wait for me! "chases after LOL and Malik"  
  
Bakura: As I was saying, I'm sure LOL wanted to say " Please review! Bi now!" Bye everyone! "waves goodbye, then leaves" 


	6. Ask Malik

Author's Notes: Ahhh!!!!!! I'm sooooo sorry for not updating in a LOOOOONG time! I've been so busy lately with all the school work! Thx for everyone who reviewed and sent in questions for Malik! It made writing this chapter sooooo much easier! "takes out a plate of cookies from nowhere" Here! Have a cookie! ^_______^ Oh, and Seto Kaiba Fanatic will be helping with the responses, too.  
  
Seto: LOL does not own any of us. I'm sure if she did, I'd be wearing something VERY embarrassing right now.  
  
LOL: And what you're wearing right now ISN'T embarrassing? "looks at Seto in the bunny suit"  
  
Seto: You said if I didn't wear it, I wouldn't be able to do the disclaimers!  
  
LOL: It's true. I DO have the power over you. Muahahahahahah!  
  
SKF: @.@ um..please excuse my hyper friend. You know how she can be when she gets a hold of sugar.  
  
LOL: I am NOT hyper! Heehee. Malik lookey sooooo good! Heehee "glomps Malik"  
  
Malik: Gah! If I didn't love you so much, I would use my mind controlling powers to get you OFF of me!  
  
LOL: Oki! Enough of playing around! Let's get this LONG awaited fic on with!  
  
SKF: Plz R&R! Enjoy!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Dear Malik,  
  
Let's see.....if you were on a forked road, in the middle of Hell's Desert and Heaven's Jungle, one leads to life and the other to a death of a million deaths, which would you choose, the left path or the right? Using your instinct and backstabbing yami as well.  
  
Yami no Bakura  
  
Dear Yami no Bakura,  
  
Hmmmm...it's a toughie. Depends though. Is hell on the left or right? I think I'd choose the one that leads to life. At least I'd get to torture more lives, ne? and I think my yami would like it, too. Any chance to make another life miserable is cool with him!  
  
Malik, the one who'd rather live than die. o.0  
  
Dear Malik,  
  
What's your american name? And who is Ryou and Honda?  
  
Signed,  
  
Confused Yugioh fan  
  
P.S. Of course Joey is gay! Did anyone have any doubt?  
  
Dear confused Yugioh fan,  
  
As much as I hate it, my dubbed or "American" name as you call it, is Merrick. It sounds like my yami's name. Not that I hate my yami. "looks around nervously hoping Marik didn't read that" And I believe Ryou is Bakura's jap name and Honda is Tristan's jap name. To tell you the truth, I prefer his English name. At least it's not the name of a car. O.0  
  
Malik, aka. Merrick  
  
Dear MAlik,  
  
Do you Like Good Charlotte IF NOT THEN DIE! ^_^  
  
Signed: GC Rockz  
  
Dear GC Rockz,  
  
Good what? @.@  
  
Malik, VERY confused  
  
Dear Malik(or Yami Malik),  
  
Why does your hair look like a whacked out Super Saiyan from DBZ? (Sorry to Malik fans)  
  
From,Curious  
  
Dear Curious,  
  
It does? "looks at hair" I never thought of it that way... Wow, I'm a Super Saiyan! "tries to fly, but falls on butt" Ow!!!! Guess I'm not....  
  
Malik, NOT a Super Saiyan  
  
Dear Malik,  
  
Are you in love with Ryou Bakura?Cause if you are I don't blame you.  
  
Ryou's #1 fan  
  
Dear my Ryou's #1 fan,  
  
Well, um...I....uh...did I just say my? o.0 And thanks for the support! ^_____^  
  
Malik, Ryou's OTHER #1 fan  
  
Dear Malik,  
  
Um.... I don't know how to say this...but, Malik I love you!(sry to the peeps who don't like shounen-ai!)  
  
Ryou, blushing  
  
Dear Ryou,  
  
Wow, Ryou. I don't know what to say! I like you too! Will you go out with me?  
  
Malik, also blushing  
  
Dear Malik,  
  
Ya know what, you're my most fave character and on my list of really hot, psychopathic peoples, which includes Yami Bakura and Yami Malik. Anyway, how come on the dubbed version you've only appeared, what, like three times?  
  
Kirei Tsuki, an authoress in love with Malik.  
  
Dear Kirei Tsuki,  
  
Actually, I appeared a LOT more than just three little times! Have you been watching the show? And ofcourse I'm on your list! Let's face it, when it comes to most original "punishments" I take the cake. ^______^  
  
Malik, the BEST  
  
Dear Malik,  
  
Can I have your Millennium Rod?Please??  
  
Phaaoh Yami  
  
Dear PY,  
  
NO!!!!!!! And that's FINAL!  
  
Malik, the only one ALLOWED to have the millennium rod  
  
Dear Aibou,  
  
What?! You fell in love with that wimp Ryou! How come I never knew about this! How long have you been keeping this secret from me?! Tell me! TELL ME!!!!!!  
  
Marik, VERY angry yami  
  
Dear Yami,  
  
Ahh! Yami! Uh... I can explain! "thinks of an excuse" Well, actually, I can't. But PLEASE don't hurt me!!!!!!  
  
Malik, a GOOD little aibou  
  
Dear Malik...  
  
How does your Yami have his hair stick so high up like it does?  
  
P.S. Why are you so hot?  
  
Dear P.S.,  
  
Super gel spray, what DOESN'T it do? He keeps a can of it all the time in case he feels the need to make one of his "appearances" . And as for why I'm so hot.... I just AM! ^______^  
  
Malik, VERY hot  
  
Dear Malik,  
  
Eeee!!! my personal fave question!!! Okay, who do you like more? Bakura, Ryou, or your yami. (I meant this in the YAOI sense, lol)  
  
--confused YAOI fan  
  
Dear confused YAOI fan,  
  
Actually, I like all of them! Have you ever heard of a foursome? "evil grin" Don't tell my yami I like him though, he'll REALLY let me have it.  
  
Malik, likes guys and not afraid to let the world know  
  
Dear Malik,  
  
What is your last name?!?? Is it Ishtal, or Ishtar, or Ishutal? ARGH! IT'S SO CONFUSING!!!!  
  
On a completely unrelated note, how do would feel about chocolate-covered strawberry-flavored potato chips that taste like crayons?  
  
-Umeko, way too hyper  
  
Dear Umeko,  
  
Yes, you are VERY hyper. My last name's Ishtar. And uh...no comment on the potato chips.  
  
Malik Ishtar  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
LOL: So did ya like it? Huh, huh! I know it's not as funny as the other chapters. But at least I've cleared up some questions. ^_____^  
  
SKF: You?! What about me!? I helped, too!  
  
LOL: And you, too. Yeesh. Now that Seto's going out with Anzu, you're all whacked.  
  
SKF: I am NOT! That b*tch does NOT deserve Seto! It's not fair! "throws a huge fit"  
  
LOL: um...ok...anyway, since SO many ppl wrote in to Malik, I'm gonna answer more letters next chap!  
  
SKF: You mean WE! "fuming mad*  
  
LOL: Yes, yes we. Well, bye now! And don't forget to review! Oh, jus to let you know, future letters for Malik will NOT be answered. He has enough fan mail already. Well, ja ne! 


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